Jenny Johnson is famous on Twitter for being funny, filthy?and for taking on Chris Brown. Her biggest fan? A Texas oil exec?who?s also her husband. Her valentine to him is here.
A bold, audacious Do: Johnson at Rebels Honky Tonk bar in
Houston
One time my husband asked that I remove a tweet. It read: ?I KNOW my husband has been using my bronzing moisturizer to jerk off. His d^#k looks like Snooki.? I didn?t take it down; I thought it was hilarious, as did my 300,000-plus Twitter followers. And no, it wasn?t true; it was just a silly thing to write. And I?m a silly person.
When I first started writing jokes on Twitter, in 2009, I was shocked at the response?turns out people like my twisted sense of humor. My Twitter bio reads, ?writer, wife, asshole, and owner of 2 dogs.? All are true, except maybe the asshole part. (I actually think I?m a nice person; I just added it to make me sound like a badass, which it totally does.) But the question people ask me most is how my brash online personality affects my husband, who works in the conservative oil and gas industry.
The best way to explain how we make it work is to share a list of things he?s said to me recently:
? ?You look gorgeous tonight, Jenny. Um?please don?t say ?f?k? at the table during dinner.? (For his job, we?re required to attend numerous galas, dinners, conferences, and balls. Ha, balls?)
? ?Jenny, please don?t write that when I fall asleep naked you put my penis in a hot dog bun.? (Sadly, I?ve never actually done this to him, but I?m fairly confident it will happen sooner or later.)
? ?You are by far the most disgusting person I know. I love you. Good night.?
So...Chris Brown?
After Johnson posted this tweet last November ragging on singer and onetime Rihanna assailant Chris Brown, Brown retaliated viciously, saying he should ?sh-t right on [her] retina;? his fans even threatened her life. But Johnson has no regrets. ?Any type of abuse should never be tolerated,? she says. ?As a comedy writer, all I have are my words. Some people get me; some people don?t.?
Occasionally my husband is somewhat embarrassed by my tweets. But he knew what he was getting into. When I first toyed with the notion of writing jokes on Twitter, he lovingly said, ?You are the grossest person I know. Go for it.? A year later he called from work to say he?d heard his boss tell a raunchy joke, only to find out he was reading one of my tweets. (At that point, he might have regretted the ?Go for it.?) Like every married couple, we make compromises. When I write a joke about my husband, I never say his name or post pictures. I?m working on a TV pilot based on my life with my husband and teen stepkids, but I?m happy to say he?s more proud than embarrassed. We agree that being so different is what makes our marriage fun.
The bottom line is that you will never change your spouse or partner (especially if your spouse is a foulmouthed comedy writer), so don?t try. I know my sense of humor is considered gross by some (and super gross by my mom), but I?m lucky enough that the person I love most in the world gets me and I get him. I?m no different from any of you. Some of you are married, some of you are single. Some of you are douchebags, and some of you are huge douchebags. But whatever kind of person you are, don?t be afraid to express yourself, and never settle for a person who asks you to do otherwise. You?re welcome for all my unsolicited advice.
Johnson tweets as @JennyJohnsonHi5.
Photograph by Matthew Mahon
Source: http://www.glamour.com/entertainment/2013/01/speaking-your-mind-always-a-do
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